Who do you need to start speaking life-giving words to? How will you go about doing it?
I think over and over again over something I once heard. That as Christians we lose the RIGHT to take offense. We have no right. Wait a minute… we DO have rights! Our society teaches us about our rights from day one. How hard it is to relinquish our rights to take offense so that we can extend grace, forgiveness and love. Not withholding proper discernment of where a healthy boundary with that person may be…. but not responding in anger.
It’s OK to be angry! God has redeemed our emotions as well!
26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.
It’s difficult to come to the realization that anger, pain, rejection, love, all these feelings remind us that we’re ALIVE and well PRAISE THE LORD we’re redeemed!!!!! Without pain and suffering we can’t truly know love and grace, without forgiven we can’t appreciate being forgiven. Sure we can board ourselves up and become numb to pain but we start to slowly wither away and that’s exactly where Satan can take hold of us. And I struggled. With depression, with countering suicidal thoughts, not of my own accord but that would be planted and I would think “LORD where did that come from? Am I that big of a mess? Do I no longer value life?” And they were things I had to speak truth over, and had to start speaking out about because I could feel myself snowballing. Some of you walked this with me or observed it, others walked the following years recovery, and I made it because of you. A slippery slope, depression. You almost wake up in it and wonder, how the hell did I get here? Toxic thoughts and emotions that go unaddressed. They’re most dangerous when they lurk in the dark corner and accumulate unnoticed.
I revisited this yesterday. I was ANGRY. And I responded in anger. Thankfully Jon was the one I was getting upset with (not at the other person directly) and he calmed me down and put me back in line from my “over-reacting”, but there was a trigger and I felt every inch of my body start to suffocate me and my response was sinful. I felt the LORD saying “separate these situations Leslie, this is a different time, different people, you are a different person, do not revert back to your old ways”… and revert back I did. Lord forgive me for acting out my anger in sin, instead of giving my anger to you. And thank you for a great husband to snap me into reality.
I’m realizing more and more how sinful my true nature is, this faith thing is not for the feint hearted…..
Be grateful – our life is only for his GloryYou can’t live for Me unless you live from Me